So I had some Problems whit Opening the Downloads too Part 15 and 16, but all in all I read all of the other Chapters.
Did I like it? It was need. Some Parts of the Writing was very good.
But I want too be honest as an Artist and Hobbywriter. I dont know how Professional you are, but I had many Poblems whit the Visuals.
The Point of fiew is very unexiting. Every szene is just a continue of the Story, but its not intense, its just what happend in the Moment.
If you Zoom on some Points, ore choose another Angle it would be much more beautiful and hotter. And sometimes its OK too use the same Picture just a little different too pace the thing out.
-Sorry if my English isnt the Best.
Yeah, In addition, the light is often out of place. It looks like the girl already has cum in her face. It's still only my taste, but the main character is a bit too skinny.
Too the good Stuff. I by the Transformation. In the first two Chapters you characterized her as a Person who realy enjoy sex, who is not necressary prejudice about plastic Surgery and thought the other Womans in the Pub are good looking. Also, she did not see the offer to work in a strip club as insulting and you could tell she was paying close attention to her weight. Its a surprising belivalbe Transformation.
Also my favorit Part of all in the Projekt so far was, the Moment she find out, what shes been manipulated too become this, and realized what this wasnt a bad thing for her at all. So she wasnt angry and willing too offer her sister too him for the same Mindgame.
I think i would do the same thing, but im not a Girl so I better try too find a girl who would do the same thing.
All in all I wish you are become successful and that you will improve yourself with time.
If I can, I read the rest later.