You guys just get my intentions wrong, I really don't want a slave
Well, to their credit you did actually say you wanted her to be like a slave twice in one post lol
But straight talk here: I believe you when you say you might have chosen your words wrong, don’t worry about. BDSM and sexual (and otherwise) submissive and dominant personality and fetishes are valid and you don’t need to defend your or her preferences.
So, lemme see. What you are actually asking without realizing is how you can be a good dom. Being a good dom is waaaay harder then being a good sub and that’s the whole point. It seems you aren’t into the cruelty and punishing thing (neither am I), but you are more looking for a situation where you are the caretaker and she is thankful and appreciative of that, right? You’d like her to spend her time to look good for you, focus on your pleasure and comfort and be sexually available whenever you want or need her?
You should look into Daddy/lg (little girl / baby doll / bimbo / princess (depending on wether or not ageplay appeals to you guys) or maybe even the whole pet play thing (don’t know a whole lot about that).
The situation I described sounds pretty great, right? Having a pretty girl around the house, always available and ready to cheer you up? Well that’s not for free, it’s hard work. You have to deserve it if you want her to keep it up. This means you need to free her from worries about money issues by having a good income to support you both and afford her princess lifestyle, she needs to be able to trust you 100% so be very loyal and appreciative of her, people might not agree with her submissive lifestyle, be ready to comfort her and be her rock. You get the picture...
Now as to her, how do you influence her? You are already kind of sure she is ready for this life, so take the lead and be the dom she needs. If you are right she’ll feel safe to submit to her desired lifestyle and therefor you. My ex desired to be submissive so much that I had to run to keep up my dominant traits, she wasn’t subtle about it at all, but I learned a great deal about myself and these days I wouldn’t want it any different. Some girls are more subtle and might need even more leadership from you to even get to the first step, so like I said: Get more dom, be a better partner.
Also both of u take the BDSM test @ bdsmtest.org and have some fun comparing results. It will help you set the first few steps. Good luck and any more questions lemme know.