Author Topic: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women  (Read 5530 times)

doggzilla

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When this forum started it was so successful because it was a place where women felt safe and appreciated. It was somewhere hate was not tolerated.

But recently nearly all of my favorite threads are full of women hating incels spewing insane garbage at women.

This forum is not meant to be a place for women hating lunatics who want to scream at people and constantly argue.

Can we please do something about all the incel lunatics spamming the forum with hate?

dweeBdeterMined

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KwukDuck

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From the very start we've been an open forum that tries to moderate and censor as little as possible without this resulting in a toxic environment created by a few.

Please report posts you consider to be unwelcome.

trouble33

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Not that i don´t agree, there are some people who talk about the girls/women as objects. But right off the bat, threadstarter here calls every one he doesnt agree with, an Incel. Regurgitation the typical Twitch-lingo, for some reason without probably really considering the meaning of the word and wether it makes any sense to use it towards any person.

HUGEisElegant

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2021, 11:44:44 pm »
My apologies for the length of my reply, but I have to say, this is the exact reason why I have (mostly) been away from the site for the last 2-3 years.

When I first joined in 2015 there seemed to be a much happier harmony here, and people seemed to get along and be much more respectful toward each other. It seemed like a good place to be, as well as an interesting place for me to learn about certain topics from a female perspective, so I created an account. I just assumed a part of the reason for the positive harmony here was because that's how the admins and mods preferred to maintain the site.

But during those earlier days of me being here there were also a lot more models and other female members who were very active here as well. Some of whom I had the pleasure of chatting with in private messages, which I was always grateful for. But it just seemed that things started to change sometime in 2017 and it just seemed to progressively get worse and worse through 2018 and into 2019, which was the last time I had any real notable activity here. But what's even worse is that the level of activity (and overall membership) from female members seemed to drastically decline during that time, which I believe is directly reflective of the caustic atmosphere that developed here.

Since I have been gone, I would log in from time to time (once every several months or more) just to check a few threads, but so much of the activity I kept seeing was very negative and off-putting, which was the reason I had left in the first place. Not only that, but things seemed to have gotten even worse during my time away from the site as well. In thread after thread I just kept seeing post after post of people constantly arguing, name calling and attacking one another (including male members attacking and even harassing female members), and it was just an atmosphere I didn't (nor do I) want to be a part of.

But, it's not just the objectification of women and the insane amount of awful, offensive entitlement some guys were (are) constantly posting in the threads, it was the constant arguing, attacking, harsh divisiveness and general negativity that affects everyone, and it just became very unappealing to have to sift through it all from day to day in the threads. It became a toxic atmosphere and it's what led me to be away all that time, because TPB just seemed to become a very unfriendly, unhappy and negative place to be. So, it's sad to hear that so many of the same issues are still being talked about here, which is very unfortunate.

With all that said, I recently started being a little more active here in the last few days (just looking through some of the threads), so I decided to send a donation to help keep the site going. I made my donation, but I have to be honest and say that if things are still the same here now as they were when I left, I'll likely not post in the threads very much over time, because the atmosphere I left behind is not really something I want to be a part of. Ultimately, the things mentioned here already are not something I feel is good, or conducive to a healthy environment as a community. Especially for women, which are at the core and focus of this entire site.

Anyway, I don't mean to post this to reprimand or point fingers at anyone at all. I only hope it's taken as constructive dialogue, as that's my only intent. But many of these things seem to be a constant issue here and I think the general sentiments about female members in particular are very valid. Ultimately, I wish the site was a lot less toxic than it has been (particularly in regards to women), because ideally I'd like to actively participate more than I have over the last 2-3 years. But it all depends on what happens in the future.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

HUGEisElegant
« Last Edit: November 06, 2021, 12:12:44 am by HUGEisElegant »
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Trophylover

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2021, 12:03:07 am »
We have too much lurker here.

Activity is the key for a better forum.
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BoobFlex2016

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2021, 12:31:20 am »
From the very start we've been an open forum that tries to moderate and censor as little as possible without this resulting in a toxic environment created by a few.

Please report posts you consider to be unwelcome.
I agree.  Although my current ID started in 2016, I go back way father than that & think this forum has done a good job at weeding out negative energy.  I hope I have been a positive poster.  If anything I have posted is negative, it is usually aimed at wishing a performer was more active or did a better job with an OF account.  I can't stress enough how many times I have asked posts to be removed that *HAVE* been quickly removed and even trolling fake memberships deleted extremely quickly. 

I can tell you first hand running a forum isn't easy, fun, cheap, or glamourous.  If we help mods, they will do their best to keep this a positive place to visit and post.  :)

If the negative posts -- and I agree there are more than there used to be, cross a line, I feel they will be deleted if the mods are made aware.  It would seem that as humans in general have become more negative and prone to being cyber bullies, so has the forum.  If we report the bad posts, it will help.
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pupper

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When this forum started it was so successful because it was a place where women felt safe and appreciated. It was somewhere hate was not tolerated.

But recently nearly all of my favorite threads are full of women hating incels spewing insane garbage at women.

This forum is not meant to be a place for women hating lunatics who want to scream at people and constantly argue.

Can we please do something about all the incel lunatics spamming the forum with hate?
Simp

klaasvaak

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The good old everything was better back in the day. good times.  ;)

AlphaDaddy1

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Ill be honest, I have never been a fan of hands-off moderation.  And frankly the only ones who are are either the mods who dont want to offend anyone, or the people taking advantage of the forum, in this case with negativity.

You can give me the whole "we don't want to censor anything" bullshit, but that doesn't work ANYWHERE on social media.  There is a reason Twitter is better without Donald Trump.

Get a grip and start enforcing some guidelines or lose your base of fans.  I agree with everyone here that the forum has gone down hill.

katamari2

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Simp
Come off it.

Advocating for some classier communication around here doesn't automatically make one a Simp.

...and agreed that the disrespect from dudes who don't *need* to be here to keep the forum going is something that we could definitely do without. Incel-ism is on the rise without a doubt. If we want to keep this a no-incel zone then just do your part.

Report the posts and they will disappear. With enough members helping to uphold classier activity, the culture will improve.

1angryscot

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2022, 12:06:52 am »
Ill be honest, I have never been a fan of hands-off moderation.  And frankly the only ones who are are either the mods who dont want to offend anyone, or the people taking advantage of the forum, in this case with negativity.

You can give me the whole "we don't want to censor anything" bullshit, but that doesn't work ANYWHERE on social media.  There is a reason Twitter is better without Donald Trump.

Get a grip and start enforcing some guidelines or lose your base of fans.  I agree with everyone here that the forum has gone down hill.
"You can give me the whole 'we don't want to censor anything' bullshit, but that doesn't work ANYWHERE on social media.  There is a reason Twitter is better without Donald Trump."  And you, sir, are the problem.  If you had your way, you'd be decreeing for the world what we're allowed to see and hear.  I despise you.  As some people like to say, if you don't like what you see on television, change the channel.  Well, if you don't like what you see on social media, just scroll by.  Censorship is not a solution.

3spnluk

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #12 on: November 09, 2022, 02:15:40 pm »
The "simp" comments are very weird, and I've seen them several times. What are they implying if not that it's somehow a bad thing to treat women respectfully?

Indy

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #13 on: November 09, 2022, 04:49:44 pm »
Let me point out a few thoughts I have on this subject, I hope it sheds some light on some of our decisions, and perhaps indecisiveness.

First off: moderator capacity. We have very few moderators, it's very hard to find people motivated to sort out other people's opinions and problems. You'd do it for the sake of the boob community, but you rarely get any reward for it, and that makes it difficult for people to remain motivated.
There's also the ever increasing size of the forum. 5 years ago, we had 4000 new topics per year, now we're at 8000 new topics per year.
Going from a total of 38,500 topics to 77,500 to monitor. That's twice as much compared to 5 years ago.
Simply put, we cannot see everything. Like katamari said, report it, and it will be dealt with.

Secondly: The issue of respect
Yes, respect is always the best way to express yourself, we should all strive for that, especially towards eachother.
There is however, a big 'but': Some girls actually market themselves as scornful, it's their appeal, it's how they want to be (publicly) treated. The whole adult business is often about disrespectful naming and shaming to create a 'wow' factor.
This makes it difficult to just outright forbid the use of such language.

Third: White knighting / Victim role(play)
With models coming on board, at first this was such a pleasure, to get to know the girls, and feeling part of the community. This was great!
However, this eventually led to exploitation. More and more girls have joined not for the community, but as a platform to sell their stuff. There's financial gain in being popular, and financial risk if losing face.
As admins/moderators, we have a set of morals and guidelines, whilst trying to remain impartial (keeping TPB priorities and legal stuff in mind), which sometimes led to some girls not getting their way. That is how it works, unfortunately, we can't please everyone. And those we can't please, stand to lose reputation, and in many cases, that results in a loss of income, so they won't just leave it at that.
Girls with huge boobs also have the power of 'bewbs', and thus have quite some sway and persuasion to their fans.
All they need to do is play the victim. Everyone gladly jumping in to defend their damsel in distress. Fighting a battle that's not theirs to fight. With that, respect is out the window and another toxic environment is created.
What's worse: girls colliding with other girls. I know of at least one who's just been attacking multiple other girls because she didn't get her way, causing other girls to stop coming here as well.
I can tell from personal experience that being threatened with doxing and getting threatened is no fun and highly demotivating. I have rather thick skin and don't let it get to me as much, but others may feel different.

All that isn't helping the toxicity, we hope that we can bring it down, but it's not easy. Mostly due to lack of manpower to deal with all this.

So yeah, we have to find a way to deal with it, any constructive suggestions are always welcome
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Ricksanchez6

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Re: Can we please start getting rid of the incels? Its freaking out the women
« Reply #14 on: November 09, 2022, 08:21:18 pm »
I'd like to see some examples of incel behavior from this forum. I know there are tons of threads and I definitely don't read all of them but I haven't noticed much.

If it's clearly an incel promoting negativity then it would be easy for mods to ban them, no?

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